The Necromancer's Wife (Remastered)
Chapter 4: Snarky. . . To The Power Of Two?

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not going to eat that?!” Elizabeth shouted at the guard. Jade came closer and caught sight of The Witch Queen standing at the front of her cell.

He watched as Elizabeth turned away from the guard who now held his forehead. “Do I have to spell it out for you?! Maybe I should get a steak knife and carve it into your forehead so that everytime you look at yourself in the mirror-!”

“My, my, it looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

Elizabeth froze; she knew that voice. It belonged to the last person she wanted to see; the one man she wanted to kill with her bare hands. . .
But who’s power she ruefully respected.

She whirled around, and for a moment her fiery hair took on the appearance of molten rock as it fell over her shoulders and back. “You. . .”

Steel blue eyes narrowed menacingly and her face was set with a cruel scowl. The colonel came close to the bars and smiled his trademark grin. “And how are we today?”

“What the hell do you want, Necromancer?” She replied. “I have nothing to say to y-!”

Elizabeth stopped mid-sentence. It was the first time she had gotten a good, hard look at the colonel. He was tall and thin with long brownish hair that fell around an exceptionally, almost disturbingly, handsome face. A boyish smile curved his lips, making him appear younger than he really was, while his freshly pressed uniform and silver glasses gave him an air of refinement and class.

As she locked gazes with Jade, Elizabeth could almost feel her heart go aflutter like a silly little school girl. His eyes held a playful twinkle that any woman would find irresistible.

Wait a minute. . .

Elizabeth came close to the bars and brought her face as close to his as she possibly could. Jade watched as she raised a suspicious eyebrow, looking deep into his eyes, scrutinizing him carefully. But it was also the Necromancer’s first true look into the eyes of The Witch Queen. Her eyes were a most peculiar shade; not quite blue, not quite gray. They reminded him of the seas of Keterburg before a great, freezing storm, warning him of trouble ahead.
“You cheating bastard!”

Anger overtook Elizabeth when she saw his eyes. They weren’t brown, blue, hazel, or green like normal people. . .
They were red.

Now she knew why he had beaten her in battle. That distinct ruby hue was not something a person could possess naturally. It was only achieved by applying a special Arte to ones eyes.
Fonic Sight.

Applying the Arte was no simple task. It required vast knowledge of Fonic Artes and extensive preparation. Most attempts to administer the treatment ended in disaster. Failure resulted in blindness to complete molecular breakdown. As a result, The Order of Lorelei declared Fonic Sight a Forbidden Text and all documents pertaining to the Arte were removed from the public’s grasp.

Elizabeth shook her head angrily. “The only reason you won is because you have Fonic Sight!” But despite her anger, The Witch Queen’s respect for the Necromancer only deepened.
To think he’s skilled enough to have successfully applied that horrible Arte. . .
He really IS no ordinary fonist.

“Ah, so you’ve noticed.” Jade began. “I happen to think my eyes are the very best of my already perfect physical features.” His smile widened. “Don’t you agree?”

The crusty bread Elizabeth still had in her hand promptly came flying at him; hitting Jade in the chest. "No.” She replied flatly. Jade shook his head.

“Oh dear,” He began, brushing away the bread crumbs that stuck to his uniform and his voice took on a condescending tone. “Such ill manners. Do we need a “time out”?” Elizabeth turned away.

“Leave me alone, Necromancer.” Jade smirked.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that. I have some very pressing things I need to discuss with you.” He began to unlock the cell. “Up, up! It’s time for your interrogation!” The barred door opened with a loud squeak. Jade turned back to Private Mondragon and Corporal Morgan. “Restrain her!”

Two lowly soldiers looked at each other nervously. Neither of them wanted to approach Elizabeth; but a single look from the Necromancer was far more terrifying than the wrath of a thousand Witch Queens. Reluctantly, the pair entered the cell.

Every emotion in Elizabeth’s being demanded she  resist and fight back. But unarmed with a Fon Slot Seal and in the Necromancer’s presence; she was helpless. What good would hand-to-hand combat be against Fonic Artes?

Especially when the Fonist casting them was Jade Curtiss.

Elizabeth let out a defeated sigh as she placed her hands behind her back, allowing the two guards to handcuff her. Jade was surprised at her lack of resistance. He had thought sure she would have been uncooperative, particularly after seeing how she treated the guards. He cracked a self-satisfied smirk.

She knew she didn’t stand a chance against him in her current state.

Once her wrists were locked together; Mondragon and Morgan each took one of Elizabeth’s arms and led her out of the cell. Jade watched as they walked past him, but now that she was out of the dim light of her cell, he was able to see the exposed skin on the backs of her arms. Some of the burns she received from Infernal Prison had been left untreated. He turned to the two soldiers; his ruby gaze set in an angered glare. “Why hasn’t she received medical attention?” He said coldly. “I specifically ordered for all  her wounds to be treated.”

The two younger men began to shake with fear. Nothing was more frightening than the Necromancer. Everyone in the military knew he was rumored to possess the ability to raise the dead and performed horrific experiments on the carcasses of those who angered him. “The military healers tended to the wound on her side and the most severe burns,” Morgan began. “But she has since refused treatment for the remainder of her injuries.”

“That is an unacceptable and pathetic excuse.” Jade replied. “While I escort Miss LeFey to the interrogation room; the two of you will send for the military healers at once. Have them brought to me upon their arrival.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes as the two soldiers released her.

“I don’t want your help, Necromancer.” She turned to him. “My injuries are no more than a bad sunburn. Don’t drag the healers all the way up here.” Her voice took on a considerate, caring tone. “I’m sure there are people worse off than me needing their help right now.” Jade’s harsh expression faded.

“Regardless,” He began. “I ordered for you to be treated; no matter how superficial your injuries may be. Besides, I am their commanding officer and they are to obey my wishes.” He raised a hand to grasp her arm; to lead her to their destination when Elizabeth let out a loud huff.

“I don’t want you touching me with your Necromancer cooties. I’ll escort myself, if you don’t mind.”

They came to the interrogation room and Jade lead her inside. The interior was bare; save for a wooden table and two chairs. A single lamp hanging from the ceiling illuminated the windowless room. He sat The Witch Queen down; shackling her wrists to the table. The chains on the table were long, about five feet in length, and gave her arms room to move around rather comfortably. Elizabeth watched as he walked around to the opposite side of the table. Looking closely, she noticed the Necromancer was keeping his back unusually stiff, as if he was favoring it, as if it was sore. . . “Is your back bothering you, Necromancer?” She asked in a sweet tone. It seems her kick to the base of his spine was more harmful than she’d thought. Yay! I DID get a cheap shot out of him!

“Yes,” Jade began, sitting down in his chair. “I’m getting on in my years and my back just isn’t what it used to be.”

“Whatever.” She replied. Elizabeth once again took notice at how handsome the Necromancer was. She had always had a thing for older men with glasses; it gave them an air of intelligence and breeding. Elizabeth could also tell he was a man who enjoyed the finer things in life. He’s hot. . . and sexy; can’t deny that.  She thought. Sad; if he wasn’t the Necromancer; I’d be all over him. . .
Literally. . .

Jade’s voice broke the silence. “I can see you’re trying to analyze me.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I’m a bounty hunter, Necromancer. You know, I hunt down fugitives and cold-blooded, criminally insane murders. I have to be able to read people. If I don’t, I’ll end up dead.” She sighed. “And I’m very good at what I do.”

“I know.” Jade replied. “A good number of inmates we have were captured by you. According to The Bounty Hunters Guild; you’re their best operative. You have the highest number of successful captures than any other in the last fifty years.” He
paused. “Tell me; why were you in Grand Chokmah?” Elizabeth crossed her arms.

“Business. I heard the Malkuth Marshals were looking for me.”

“So you are taking their offer of employment then?” Elizabeth shook her head.

“Hell no! I love what I do but I love the money that comes with it even more. On average; the bounties on wanted criminals fall in the six to seven figure range. I’m not trading that for some measly government salary! I came here to turn down their offer in person. I figured it was the nice, classy thing to do. Besides, the Marshals are just a bunch of underpaid, incompetent idiots who couldn’t find a haystack, let alone a needle.” Jade sighed and his hand went to his forehead.

“That’s most unfortunate.” Elizabeth raised a eyebrow.

“What?” She asked. “That’s it? You’re in the military, aren’t you? You’re not going to give me some long winded speech on how it’s an honor to serve my country and that I should be proud that I was offered the opportunity to do so?”

“No.” Jade answered. “I suppose it’s for the better. The Marshals are a respected part of the military.” His lips curved into a sarcastic smile. “Someone who garbs themselves and behaves as you do would only humiliate such a proud organization.”

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed. So he wants to play. . . She thought. Well then let’s play. “What’s wrong with the way I dress? Have you taken a good look in the mirror lately?” She laughed. “You do realize that your gloves and boots DON’T match the rest of your uniform. I hope that’s the military’s fault because it’s tacky as hell. It screams “Bend me over, I take it THAT way”.” She closed her eyes and turned her head, raising her hands in mock protest.  And please tell me that’s NOT a pair of black tights you’ve got on. And what’s with that belt buckle? It’s ridiculous! None of the other soldiers have one like it. Is it supposed to represent a codpiece or something? Plus everything you have on is way too big for your scrawny ass. Why you have the fashion sense of a Kimlascan woman!”

“Perhaps so.” Jade said, shrugging innocently. She was childishly trying to make him self-conscious. “But unlike you, I don’t cavort and prance about in clothing too small for me like a Kimlascan prostitute.”

“Very cute.” Elizabeth began. “A Kimlascan prostitute. Speaking of women, I always thought Jade was a girl’s name.” She stood up from her chair and leaned forwards across the table, getting as close as the chains would allow. She frowned and her voice took on a tone that one would use to speak to a five year old. “Did your Mommy and Daddy think you were going to be a little girl? Did they have a fetish for green stones? Or did you change your name to “Jade”? It’s okay; you can tell big sister Elizabeth.” Her voice returned to normal. “I think it’s the latter; you changed your name to “Jade”.” Elizabeth laid down flat on her stomach on the table. She rested her chin on her hand. “So what’s your real name? Joe. . . Jim. . .”
“Jackass?”

Jade’s eyes narrowed. “Are you implying something?” Elizabeth pointed down at his legs.

“Well, I noticed that you’ve got your legs crossed like a woman down there.” Her face twinged with green. “And those really look like tights from my angle.” She reached out and grabbed a small lock of his bangs, playing with it. “And this lovely hair of yours makes you look somewhat fem-!”

Jade knocked her hand away and her eyes widened with mock surprise. She began to nod her head, as if she had just realized something. “Oh, I see; I see exactly what what’s going on.” She laughed as she tapped her right temple with one finger. “You must be waiting to get that happy little surgery to make all your dreams of ball gowns and glass slippers come true, right? Well, why wait? I’d be more than happy to cut you a new anatomy right now. I’ll even do it for free.” A hand went to her chin. “Granted,” She began thoughtfully. “It won’t be a professional job, but I think I can do it.” Elizabeth smiled happily. “Of course, I won’t be able to anesthetize you. You’ll just have to bite down on a strap while I chop off your di-”

Jade angrily cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Charming.” He interrupted. “Moving onward. . . I hope you understand the charges that have been brought against you? You are guilty of causing widespread damage to public and private property, endangering the lives of countless citizens, and causing bodily injury to a military officer. But most of all, you physically assaulted His Imperial Majesty, Peony the Ninth. You do realize the possible consequences of such a foolish action? That alone could land you in prison for life.”

“I wouldn’t have done anything to the Emperor; had that Horn-dog just left me alone like I asked him to.” Elizabeth retorted. “I gave that asshole clear warning to back off. And what the hell is he doing in a bar anyway? If he’s the ruler of our nation, then why is he getting himself drunk? Don’t you think he should be setting an example; act as a role model for his people?”

Jade had to agree with her there. Peony was notoriously lazy, lacked manners towards women and had a tendency to act very irresponsibly. And a bar was definitely not an ideal place for Malkuth’s monarch to frequent.

“I told him I was going to hurt him if he didn’t stop touching me.” She continued. “He assaulted me first. I was only trying to defend myself. Why should I have to be put in jail for something he started? Emperor Sleezebag instigated the whole damn thing.” Elizabeth’s face twisted in disgust. “And what’s this “bodily injury to a military officer” crap? Awww, you get a boo-boo from the big nasty bounty hunter lady, huh Crybaby? Do you want me to kiss it and make it all better?” She pinched his cheek; hard enough to cause his skin to turn red. “What did you expect; casting Energy Blast in my face like that? Pfft. . . some gentleman you are.”

Elizabeth turned her back to him and laid down on the table. She rested her head on her palms and kept one leg bent at the knee, crossing her other leg over it. The Necromancer shook his head and sighed. “And they tell me I’m obnoxious.” He mused. The Witch Queen laughed.

“What did you say?” She rolled onto her side to look him in the eye. “Did you just call me “obnoxious”?” Jade smiled his grin.

“Yes I did. You’re quite obnoxious. In fact, if “Obnoxious” were a country, you’d be their Queen.” Elizabeth lay flat once again.

“And if “Ass” were a country, you’d be their King.” She chuckled. “So tell me, “Ass”, why didn’t you do anything to stop the Ass Kingdom’s Court Jester, Pervert Peony, from harassing Her Majesty, Queen Obnoxious?” Jade shrugged again.

“Oh, you see I didn’t know it was Her Majesty!” He replied with mock surprise. “You must forgive me; with the way you were dressed, I was unable to tell you apart from a simple prostitute washed up from Kimlasca.”

“And here we are,” Elizabeth laughed. “Back to the whore comments.” She huffed. “Look, whatever. I’m sure you don’t have all day to jack around. Ask your stupid questions; interrogate me; tell me what horrible things I have done and the consequences thereof.”

Jade was silent for a few moments, a smile on his face. He was actually enjoying talking to Elizabeth. She was quite clever and witty. Most of the time, his subtle jabs and indirect insults usually went right over the person they were intended for. But The Witch Queen’s mind was sharp; she caught on to his sarcasm, and responded in kind. In fact, it was quite refreshing.

“As you wish.” He pushed his glasses up his nose once again. “But I must admit I have come under false pretenses. I’m not here to “interrogate” you, per se; I actually came here seeking information.” Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

“Such as?”

“You’re from the North Rugnican Mountains, are you not?” She closed her eyes, still laying on the table.

“What makes you think that?” Jade tapped his right ear.

“Your piercings. Most women only have a single lobe piercing; whereas you have three plus two cartilage. The practice of multiple piercings is frowned upon by most women in Malkuth, except for those who live in and around that area.” He smirked evilly. “Not to mention you act like a country bumpkin.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“And from your slight, but annoying, accent, I can tell you’re from the frozen, but quaint, little hellhole that is Keterburg. You call me a redneck? But then I suppose it takes one to know one.” She sighed. “Anyways, you’re absolutely correct. I was born and raised near the North Rugnican Mountains; but lived in the Crying Forest.”

Jade’s interest peaked. The last known members of The Coven of Pentacalis within the bloodline of Morgana LeFey were rumored have lived in the Crying Forest, where the rain never stopped. He had first heard the rumor of their existence during the Hod War fifteen years ago; when he was deployed at Rotelro Bridge.

It was when he first met Glen McGovern; the son of the Imperial Forces commander, Field Marshall McGovern. Jade had mentioned to Glen that he was fascinated by the ancient witches. Much to his surprise, the Field Marshall’s son said that a family rumored to be Eighth Fonists came to St. Binah regularly.

There were seven of them; two old women, a younger man and woman, plus three children. Twice a month, they came down from the mountains to sell herbs and potions to the Medicine Shop. But most of the citizens of St. Binah feared the family. Many who had traveled out to the forest reported seeing the family perform strange ceremonies and rituals on nights when the moon was full. The woods were also said to be haunted, with sightings of strange lights, ghostly apparitions, and supernatural beings.

A great stone circle sat in the center of the of the woods and it was there that Glen himself came face to face with something he could not explain. While he never believed in the supernatural before, he did after the night he accepted a dare from friends to enter the forest. He claimed to have seen one of the Witch children sitting in the center of the circle; surrounded by countless bright lights, apparently talking to them. But as he tried to get closer; he stepped on a twig, making a loud snap. The girl’s head turned towards him, now aware of his presence. As his gaze locked with hers, the lights started to come at him, as if they were trying to drive him away. . .
Chasing him all the way home.

After hearing McGovern’s story, Jade planned to travel to the Crying Forest when the Hod War was over, to seek out the family. But when he arrived, he discovered that the entire family had perished in a house fire, apparently started by the Kimlascans. Back at square one, Jade returned to the capital no closer in his search for the secrets of the summoners.

Jade looked at the woman laying on the table. Her flowing red hair was spread out over the surface. It’s sheen and texture reminded him of spun silk. But it’s color was so odd though. . .

Suddenly, something else Glen had told him came to mind, something he had not thought of in years. . .

The girl in the woods had the strangest hair color I have ever seen. I already know that red is the rarest natural hair color in humans; but her shade is even more so. I don’t even think there’s a word to describe hers and of all the things
I saw that night; her hair is what I remember most vividly. . .

“Do you have any family still alive in the area?” Jade asked.

“Nope.” Elizabeth responded. “All dead.” Jade raised an eyebrow.

“My condolences, but if you don’t mind me asking. . . how did they die?”

Jade watched as Elizabeth took a deep breath and raise her hand to her forehead. The redhead was silent for a few moments and he got the impression that this was something she didn’t like talking about.

“House fire.” She replied. “My family died in a house fire; end of story.” Elizabeth went silent as the Necromancer asked her another question. But she stopped listening as she noticed a third person in the room with them.

It was a woman; very tall and thin. She had a short mop of silver hair and reddish eyes. She was dressed in a blue sweater and tan skirt. A white coat draped over her and knee high brown boots covered her feet and legs. She had a gentle smile on her face and her arms were crossed. Her gaze changed between The Witch Queen and The Necromancer; but she stayed rather close to the latter. Elizabeth returned her smile and the woman nodded, acknowledging her. The redhead closed her eyes for a moment but when she opened them; the woman had vanished.

“Miss LeFey?”

Jade’s voice brought her back to the present. “Hmm? Oh sorry. It be much easier for me to pay attention if you weren’t so, I don’t know. . . boring.”

The Necromancer spoke again. “I asked you how long has your family been deceased?”

“Fifteen years.” Elizabeth sighed. “Lost them when I was ten.”  

The name “LeFey”, the Summoning Arte “Decayed Dignity”, eyes that turn black, red hair, Weeping Forest, a house fire and a family that has been dead for fifteen years. The pieces of the puzzle all fell into place. Was Elizabeth the link to Pentacalis he had been looking for?

The evidence is overwhelming. . .

A knock came on the door to the interrogation room and Corporal Morgan walked in. “The military healers have arrived, Colonel Curtiss.” Jade nodded.

“Thank you, Corporal Morgan; you may take Miss LeFey back to her cell now.” The younger man walked over to the table and unshackled Elizabeth. Once her hands were again handcuffed behind her, she began to lead her herself out of the interrogation room.

Jade watched her go and suddenly, one last question came to mind; the one he wanted to ask more than any other. “You’re an Eighth Fonist; a summoner, aren’t you?” Elizabeth stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around slowly and smiled mischievously.

“Yeah, I’m a Witch. . . What’s it to you?”